Monday, June 27, 2011

Chief Executive Parent (C.E.P.)

B.C./A.C.


Your world becomes concretely divided into 2 distinct parts after having kids - B.C. (before children) and A.C. (after children). Some people say that about marriage, but compared to kids, marriage barely makes the “life change” list. Of course, having a “significant other” is significant, but you’re not changing diapers, preventing tantrums, or reminding your spouse to “use their words” every day (or at least the diaper part). I have seen my share of catastrophic adult meltdowns though, when primal brain functioning cuts off access to the pre-frontal cortex faster than you can say, “Another martini, please.”  But… that's another chapter.

I’m now living in about 5 A.C. and often wonder where all my free time went in the B.C. years… casual weekends sleeping in - when the day felt complete if you made it to brunch and back. Aaaahhhhhhhh… those days… only a distant memory. And remember spontaneous sex… and movies and leisure and hobbies and friends and uninterrupted conversations? That was awesome.

Higher Stakes…

The A.C. period catapults parents from the shallow end of the community pool to the crest of an Asian tsunami almost overnight. It’s like T-ball to the Majors instantaneously… with no summer training camp and no time-outs (except when you’re giving them). The transition is abrupt and overwhelming… with no safety net, warranty or return policy. Once you’re responsible for the security, development, and self-esteem of another human being, the game totally changes – the stakes couldn’t be higher.

Most likely, I would have never directly elected to become the primary caregiver of my two young children, not because I personally object to this, but because the opportunity did not surface until the global economy tanked and the architecture industry fell off a cliff. I was suddenly thrust into a new occupation – full-time Dad – sink or swim.

Full-time parenting is a demanding skill that works both the brain and body. With increased exercise, comes higher endurance and better performance. I referenced Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000-hour rule from Outliers recently and I’m easily over half way there in parenting hours so far – approaching expert level, I suppose. Still... not a day goes by without struggle. This job can be lonely, monotonous, and often without praise or recognition. The hours are long and constant. The qualities required to be an exceptional parent are strenuous even for the most selfless individuals… nurturing, listening, providing, encouraging, supporting, attending, disciplining, challenging, engaging, fostering, helping......... LOVING. 



It's exhausting... yet... at the same time, cathartic and sublime. This last Memorial Day, out of the clear blue, my daughter said, “Daddy, when I look at you, I feel like my heart is in you… my inside feels like a flower. You are my flower.” I still get choked up thinking about it. Without the time and effort, this poetic gift would not have been bestowed upon me. Fortunately, in being present day in and day out, I get to discover these mystifying and spontaneous pearls. 

Chief Executive Parent (C.E.P.)


Through developing more experience, I realize that committed parenting is an unexpected yet substantial prerequisite for fulfillment in other life ventures. Re-reading M. Scott Peck's The Road Less Traveled this week reminded me of this truth. "Parents are executives, and despite the fact that they are ill-prepared for it, their task can be every bit as complex as directing a company or corporation." (Peck 32) I am the Chief Executive Parent (C.E.P.) running the domestic affairs business, not "taking time off" from my professional role in the "working" world. I'm establishing the most meaningful career experience possible and the training is invaluable. 


Navigating the realm of human emotion from a child's point of view requires sustained attention, patience and imagination. One cannot rely on standard forms of adult reason or rational thought because children do not yet posses this cognitive ability. Try explaining the concept of time to a toddler. Parenting is a personal paradigm shift that dramatically rewires the brain to transition from the default setting of “self” to that of "other." Nobody captured this reality better than author David Foster Wallace in this adaptation of a commencement speech he presented to the graduating class at Kenyon college in 2005. 
David Foster Wallace
"There happen to be whole large parts of adult American life that nobody talks about in commencement speeches. One such part involves boredom, routine, and petty frustration. The parents and older folks here will know all too well what I'm talking about. The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day."
It was not until the A.C. years that I came to understand the meaning of sacrifice he speaks of. This is parenting. There is no greater purpose... no higher calling than the psychological development and spiritual growth of another human being. My role as a parent will always be inextricably linked to all that I am and do... in the creative domain, in relationships, in the professional world... in LIFE. 

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

What’s your HANDICAP?

To allow individuals of differing abilities to compete more fairly, the United States Golf Association introduced the handicap system in the early 20th century. Although a handicap is actually derived from a complicated formula, the important fact to know is that the lower the handicap, the more skilled the player. “Scratch golfers” (with a handicap of zero) are much better than “bogey golfers” (with handicaps around 20), but the system allows them to compete together because weaker players get to deduct strokes from their overall score based on their handicap.


What if we hypothetically applied the USGA handicap concept to alternative endeavors, like rock climbing or filmmaking or writing poetry? You, for example… having never made a feature film, might have a “double-bogey” handicap, say around 38 or 40. Martin Scorsese would be considered a “scratch filmmaker” with a zero handicap, scoring par or even below par consistently in the movie industry.

You are not Martin Scorsese... but you can play with him
Even though you probably won’t direct the next Avatar right away, you can still compete with higher-level players because of the handicap system. Maybe you focus on a smaller independent venture that gets some Internet traction or, at the very least, provides some solid hands-on experience. The point is, don’t worry about creating your masterpiece before you dip your first brush. Get out there, make something and remember… you have a handicap of 38 that mentally levels the playing field.


We could apply handicapping to personal attributes as well. Perhaps you are consistently late, or resent authority, or suck at spelling, or can’t type, or hate confrontation, or struggle with organization, or are bad with numbers, or don’t draw well, or lack attention to detail, or forget names, or are afraid of speaking in public, or have little discipline, or… etcetera, etcetera. So what are your options?

First… recognize your strengths and make everything else cater to your handicap(s). This doesn’t mean FOCUS on your weaknesses either. It means identify the areas you’re lacking in (trust me there are some) and simply compensate. For instance, I’m very slow at locating items in grocery stores and libraries. I have a “double bogey” attention span when it comes to these tasks. I get distracted and overwhelmed with excess information and choices.

So, what do I do? I use my “charming” personality to approach people and ask for guidance. Taking pity on my helplessness and seizing the opportunity to demonstrate a vast knowledge of the venue, someone usually chaperones me to the goods personally. I’m aware that I suck at finding stuff, thus, I compensate by using other, more salient traits.

Whether you’re organizing a closet, starting a business or changing careers, it is imperative to evaluate your potential, aptitude, and motivation accurately. Why? So you can establish a suitable handicap. Once you do that, you transcend the fear and anxiety about not being “good enough” and get on with what you need to do.

The Caveat...

Please do not misunderstand this concept. Not everyone can be exceptional at all things. We have innate limitations - such drastic handicaps that the playing field will always remain slanted. I will never be the next starting center for the Portland Blazers. It won’t happen, no matter how bad I want it. However, if I have an unyielding desire to be part of the sports world, yet lack the athletic talent to play, I could become an effective sports agent or a successful broadcaster. Bob Costas or Howard Cosell never won a Heisman trophy... did they?
Intuitively gravitating to our strengths comes more naturally to some people than others, but too often, because of an array of reasons that won’t be dissected at this time, we don’t know what we’re good at, or we have constructed impenetrable defenses around our faults. Remember Bruno Kirby (Lt. Hauk) in the movie Good Morning Vietnam? Robin Williams (Adrian Cronauer) played an energetic radio DJ that boosted the troops morale each morning with hilarious improvisational humor. When Lt. Hauk, Cronauer’s begrudging superior officer (with a “quadruple bogey” humor handicap) says... “In my heart… I know I’m funny,” you cannot help but cringe with empathy for his unrewarded comedic passion. Unfortunately, the only laughs he gets are with him as the punch line.

Everyone needs a Simon.

FIND YOUR SIMON
Cases like Lt. Hauk's are always the saddest scenarios because despite having low aptitude, his inner passion burns so brightly that the light blinds him from seeing clearly. Have you ever watched American Idol tryouts? It's the same story every season. You would think that some of these contestants would recognize their lack of singing ability. Maybe there is a place for them somewhere in the music industry, but belting out Bon Jovi’s Livin’ on a Prayer has disastrous consequences without the appropriate vocal range. Are they just tone deaf? I often wonder if these people have anyone in their lives to offer some constructive criticism before appearing on national TV. Is there nobody?

FU$K Devil's Advocates
This is why American Idol has Simon (or had Simon). Although controversial, he made an art out of providing seemingly harsh, but very constructive feedback. Most of the time… like him or not, he got it right and, as crushing as it might be, everyone needs to find their Simon.


Please don’t rely on an overly supportive person that thinks everything you do is amazing and won’t give you an unbiased opinion. Stop sheltering yourself from advice or observations that might make you better or re-direct you towards something more aligned with your capacities. 


At the same time, please ignore the flame-pissers and devil’s advocates that will prevent you from following a strong, meaningful instinct. Don’t waste any more time. Relax… get out there… and go find your Simon.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Arriving Not Allowed.

When I was in architecture school, there was this mantra always floating around the studio, “You’re only as good as what you last pinned up.” This expression speaks volumes to any artist or creatively driven person because each and every project is a tabula rasa… a chance to make something from nothing. You must keep producing great work time and time again or the harsh and critical world might discover that you’re just another fraud. We’re a culture filled with armchair quarterbacks, where the only thing better than rooting for your protagonist is bringing them to their knees when they don’t deliver.

NO ARRIVING
Creative people are driven by their work - by making, generating, building and so on. An artist is only as good as his or her last creation… last project, last album, last deign, last painting, last film, etcetera. Ever hear of the sophomore slump? Whether it’s a bands second album, athletes second season, or a movie sequel, we all understand the tendency for certain creative endeavors not to live up to the standards of the first effort. The hope of any artist is to avoid this inclination and flourish with one success after the other. Too often though, “fade away” becomes the inevitable epitaph of those that were once great.

The risk of being cast down with the socially stigmatized “one hit wonders” of the world drives many artists to keep evolving… that and hopefully a genuine love for what they do. Think about it. The best artists continue delivering inspiring work and that challenge becomes an addiction because it’s fresh every time – like a creative adrenaline rush.

Great artists don’t have a final destination. They never arrive. Even if you’re at the top your particular creative food chain, the moment you “think” you’ve arrived – that’s the moment life sucker-punches you in the gut and watches your ego deflate faster than balloon at a toddler’s birthday bash. So… don’t do it. Don’t get off the bus just because the spotlight momentarily focuses on you. Just keep swimming… because to be able to do what you love again and again, without cutting your ear off… that is a gift. Don’t forget it. Don’t arrive.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Originality with Purpose...

To create something that's never been done, just for the sake of being original, is insultingly easy. For instance... turkeyfightclub.com 


Ever hear of it? No? Exactly... because I just invented that sh&t.  It's a website concept for... well, no purpose whatsoever, but it's original. Just think, any combination of the words turkey, fight and club make complete sense. Try it. Fight Club... check. Turkey Fight... check.  Club Turkey... check. Just visit the site, enter the combination of words you desire and watch the icons appear. 


turkeyfightclub.com (don't steal this idea)

Make it relevant...


To be original with meaning, with results, with purpose... that is true innovation... real creativity (I might have stolen that). Whether it's a business venture, art project or new invention, any original idea is worthless without execution. How many great ideas are sitting on the shelf right now without the slightest hope of being realized? Yeah... probably most of them, but it's impossible to know for sure because they're trapped in "idea purgatory."


3 ways to deal with the originality conundrum:


1) Don't "DO" anything: Don't make anything, don't write anything, don't design anything, don't invent anything, don't think anything... because there's no point... it's already been done, right? 


2) Remain uninformed: Remember the movie Knocked-Up? Ben (Seth Rogen) was making a website with his stoner friends that would indicate the exact moment that nudity occurred in certain movies. They were crushed when Pete (Paul Rudd) told them about "Mr. Skin," a site that was already doing exactly that. With this strategy you basically insulate yourself from the truth by staying deliberately, or perhaps inadvertently, uninformed. Hey... if the idea is original to you, then who cares if it's already been done, right? You didn't know. (It actually does suck when you do come up with something worthwhile and find out it's been done though). 


3) Steal like an artist: (I actually stole that: http://www.austinkleon.com/2011/03/30/how-to-steal-like-an-artist-and-9-other-things-nobody-told-me). In other words, find something worthwhile, something great, and make it yours. Don't worry about misappropriation because it's completely acceptable within the creative domain. Comedians do it with jokes... writers do it with books... inventors do it with ideas... architects do it with designs. In fact, the originator of a new idea often fails in one way or another, only opening the door for you to make it better. 


So... go make it better.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Find your Freestyle…


A short time ago I was writing about finding your medium - the forum that fits most intuitively with your creative expression. Knowing your medium leads to using your medium, which leads to finding your freestyle – the place you transcend self-doubt, fear, and any anxiety about what you are actually doing or saying or writing or filming or drawing or… whatever. The self-evaluation ceases and that little critical voice… you know, the one that questions the validity of every move, just fades away. There is something emotionally engaging… even sublime about watching someone freestyle with fearless abandon, as if time itself skipped a beat just for that moment.

Personally, I think some of the most enthralling performers out there are the extreme sports athletes, even if they are borderline masochists. Observe the way a skateboarder or BMX rider moves when they compete. It’s astonishing. If you don’t relax and flow with your body, you could end up literally broken. Even the way these athletes fall is stylish. Do you realize how many times they’ve fallen to get that good at it?

Watching a talented comic generate uncontrollable laughter or a musician move people to tears can be the same way. These individuals are in their element… their most present state of being. They have found their freestyle. Unfortunately, all disciplines do not possess this allure. Everything cannot be a performance. In fact, it would be just plain be awkward if you were here now watching me write. Ha.

Don’t worry… you might not know how to freestyle yet. This is one reason JAMLAB was formed… to help you learn. We believe everybody has his or her own method of freestyle, whether it’s in music, bioengineering, or teaching. Maybe you’re in the process of developing that fluency, which is great, because you know the “what” in the equation. Now it’s a matter of time and persistence, right?

It’s not all about talent… is it?

Our 30th president, Calvin Coolidge might have put it best with these words:  

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

This quote brings me to a fairly recent case study presented in Ken Robinson’s book, The Element and Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers. Both authors cite music legends, The Beatles as an example of outstanding creative success… or as I say… great freestylers.

Ken Robinson’s research revealed that neither Paul McCartney nor George Harrison, who attended the same high school in Liverpool, was thought to have much musical talent throughout their education. His joke goes something like this: “So at some point this teacher had half the Beatles in his class and missed it… you get the drift.

Outliers takes a different direction with the statistics, suggesting that ability is a function of practice – what Gladwell calls the 10,000 hour rule. Evidently, the Beatles’ early years were spent doing gigs in Hamburg, Germany, where the clubs stayed open all night. They would often perform for 8 hours at a time night after night.

Does this mean that they were not particularly talented musicians to begin with and that intensive practicing led to their musical fluency? Perhaps. Maybe they were always musically gifted, but a mechanical, un-stimulating learning environment stifled their creativity, as Ken Robinson suggests. Whatever the case, it is undeniable that both persistence and determination were essential to their success - staying committed and “doing it” every day… finding their freestyle.

NOT knowing is NOT an excuse?

So… what if you don’t know what your good at? It’s a more common problem than it should be. How do you freestyle when you don’t have any moves yet? Well… you start with what you like. Don’t know what you like? Start with what you’re interested in. Don’t know what your interested in? What books do you find yourself reading? What films do you watch? What do you dream about? Think about what you gravitated to as a younger person… as a child even. Can’t remember? Come on…  go ask your mom. She doesn’t know. What about a sister, brother, aunt, or old friend? Not available? OK then… start with what you don’t like and use the process of elimination.

Whatever you do, don’t get distracted trying to figure out why you don’t know or whose fault it is. There are too many variables in the mix to know for sure. Ignore all that and focus on what you can do now to find your freestyle.

JAMLAB = FREESTYLE

I’m a creative generalist and a dedicated lifetime learner (or perhaps it really is legitimate ADHD). I have always been interested in practically everything, but never obsessed with anything. I marveled at the people that “knew” what they wanted to do from a very early age, whether it was drama or medicine. With the depth and breadth of choices available, how could they just know?

At age 39… after traveling to over 30 countries, receiving a B.S. in psychology and a Masters in Architecture, teaching English in South Korea, living briefly in London and a decade in Los Angeles, and becoming a full-time dad… I’m finally beginning to figure it out.  

I’m fanatical about the creative process itself, the art of “making,” and about sharing that knowledge with others. JAMLAB is a way for me to harness this passion while keeping my love and capacity for many things alive. JAMLAB is my FREESTYLE (or… at least… it will be).

The Art of Improvisation…

Life is a non-linear path full of bumps, twists, hurdles, setbacks, and general unpredictability. You have to be able to improvise in order to negotiate the constant obstacles and problems that arise. A professional musician, recently interviewed by JAMLAB, talked about how studying jazz was the key to her ability to improvise as an artist. When she jams on keyboards or piano, she’s in her zone – she’s creating in the present moment. It’s literally “originality on the fly.” Life is improvisation, whether you like it or not. It’s a matter of how you choose to address it.

Prepare to improvise. Prepare to find your freestyleor risk not knowing, at your own peril.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Write the book you want to read…

Recently, a friend forwarded me an entry from Austin Kleon’s blog entitled: How to steal like and artist and 9 other things nobody told me (Steal Like An Artist). He’s actually turning it into a book now so all you closet artists out there should join the mailing list or follow him on twitter, as well as me of course… but hey, I’m just getting warmed up.

So, essentially the article offers 10 rules of thumb that pertain to the life of an artist, or let’s say… people with a creative compulsion. Now, several of the tips are poignant and useful, but today I’m particularly interested in "stealing" tip #3: Write the book you want to read.

To paraphrase his point, the cliché answer to the question of every aspiring writer regarding what they should write about is, “write what you know.” This advice, according to Kleon, leaves us with a bunch of terrible stories where nothing interesting happens. Now, I’m certain there are many engaging books written by people that “know” their material. His point is that obsessing on what you already know might not be the most enthralling way to get the creativity flowing. Maybe, you don’t necessarily have to write what you know. Maybe you should write what you like.

Supporting Argument…

Ever hear of the two-time Pulitzer Prize winning author David McCullough? His latest book, The Greater Journey: Americans in Paris, explores a group of exceptionally gifted individuals, eager to excel in their work, that traveled to France between 1830 and 1900 to discover the true depth of their talents and immerse themselves deeply in various fields of study that were not available to them at home, including painting, photography, writing, medicine, politics, sculpture and architecture (The Greater Journey).

As a consequence of their experience, many of them returned with an enlightened knowledge that they proudly gave to America, whether it was a major invention like Samuel F.B. Morse’s telegraph or the esteemed writings of James Fenimore Cooper. Interestingly, several aspects of our lives and culture, that we believe to be quintessentially American, can actually be attributed to French influence.

As McCullough explored Paris, the idea of compiling a literary guidebook that documented where historically significant individuals lived and noteworthy events took place, came to him. In an online video, he describes the project so simply, “… I’ve had the need to read or the desire to read a certain kind of book and if I find the book doesn’t exist, I think well… why don’t you write it so you can read it.”

JAMLAB validation… coming full circle.

A Pulitzer Prize winning author and deeply respected American historian embarked on a mission to tell the untold stories of a group of exceptionally talented individuals that followed their creative intuition with unparalleled intensity and brought that experience back to America for our benefit. I haven’t even read the book yet and I’m amazed because this is precisely one of the missions of JAMLAB (minus the going to Paris part). Wait a minute. Maybe he already wrote the book that I want to write. Damn it.

Seriously though, McCullough’s novel demonstrates an undeniable truth and one that JAMLAB strongly echoes. There is a liberating quality that engulfs people that have found a way to align their aptitude with their passion, whatever their position on the scale of success. Of course, very few of us have created our masterpiece… yet. But, if we ignore that inner voice calling our name, we never even get the chance.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Thoughts on being accountable...

Question...


How does a person genuinely execute a significant life change? You make up your mind and do it... right? It's easy to get inspired, to feel someone or something has personally motivated you, and jump on board the "change-train" with all the necessary intensions. The problem is, reflecting on the late Chris Farley's infamous portrayal of the motivation speaker on Saturday Night LIve, intensions don't amount to "Jack Squat." 


Maybe you want to quit smoking. Maybe it's less internet porn. Or maybe... you want to stop allowing fear and self doubt to crush your creative capacities. The very thought of another day wading in complacency might disgust you, but you feel trapped and unsure of how to exit the conformist expressway. Plus... you know... nobody likes a whiner. 


Ulysses Contract


About a week ago I was listening to the NPR podcast Radiolab when an interesting discussion began about what is referred to as a Ulysses contract. Have you heard of this? According to Greek mythology, Ulysses (a.k.a. Odysseus) formed an immutable contract with his crew members as they prepared to sail past the Sirens, who used their seductive voices to lure vessels into shipwrecking on their rocky coastline. Knowing the deadly temptation of the Sirens enchanting music, Ulysses ordered his men to tie him to the mast so he could not escape and to put beeswax in their ears to shut out the Siren's voices. Under no circumstance were they allowed to change course.


Otto Greiner (1869-1916)
"Ulysses and the Sirens" (1902)
Other guests on the program spoke about how they created their own version of a Ulysses pact in order to implement the changes they desired - the idea being if that you back yourself up against a cliff, with no option of retreat, you must follow through. 


An inevitable problem with altering human behavior is that the immediate desire (I want to smoke) dominates the perceived future repercussion (threat of disease). An effective strategy then, according to experts on the show, is to convert that future consequence into a more present reality, so as to overpower the "now" desire with a more immediate negative result.  For instance, one woman declared that if she smoked again, she would donate $5,000 to the Ku Klux Klan. The thought of giving money to a racist, ignorant organization like the KKK was so revolting, that it transformed the future outcome of damaging her health into an immediate penalty - having to pay money to the KKK. According to her own testimony, she never smoked again.


The Ulysses contract, not to be confused with a deadline or half-ass commitment, might thus be a valuable way to induce change even if we have to invent a drastic outcome or impossible retreat. Don't get me wrong, deadlines and commitments are important to any worthwhile goal, but the Ulysses pact kicks it up a few notches, don't you think? Remember this the next time you say you're going to loose weight or write a book or run a marathon or... whatever. 


What I want to know, is what happens if you don't?









Wednesday, June 1, 2011

PROJECT PROGRESS UPDATE

OK everyone, I know you've been anxiously awaiting a project progress update... all of my followers (one including myself). As you know, JAMLAB set out to accomplish a multi-media miracle this year (please visit http://www.projeqt.com/jamlab for the original mission statement) and here's the breakdown at 40 days in:



Project Progress

  • Business/Brand: (established) - Oregon business with official Employer ID #. 
  • Social Network/Web/Blog: (established) - continuously building. 
  • Documentary Film: (less than 5% complete) - minimal raw footage with a lot to figure out.
  • Book: (approx. 5% complete) - outline is underway and the blog is motivating me to write every day, which will provide content for the book. I'm considering National Novel Writing Month which happens in November (http://www.nanowrimo.org) - absolutely insane.
  • Screenplay: (3% complete) - concepts only.
  • Original Song: (20% complete) - melody and partial lyrics - no recording yet.
  • Photo exhibit: (40% complete) - if I stick with the current concept.
  • Creative Workspace/Studio Design: (10% complete) - in schematic design.
  • Children's Story: (2% complete) - story idea only, no illustrations.
  • Custom Furniture: (70% complete) - prototype built.
  • Comedy Routine: (5% complete) - jokes are always rollin'.