LIME Design(limedesignco.com), the creative extension of JAMLAB, has just completed the first stage of our seasonal furniture collection, a Natural Bamboo and Brazilian Cherry dining table treated with a water-based, clear finish.
The challenge was to deliver a product that could break down into a shippable kit and be easily assembled in the client's home in Kentucky while commanding a clear presence within their expansive interior space.
Lime Design collaborated with seasoned furniture maker Jordan Geis (formerly from Reform) on this project. Currently under construction is another custom dining table and set of chairs made with natural bamboo and mild, polished steel - scheduled for completion by Christmas this year.
JAMLAB has recently taken its next leap into the world of independent business so we invite you to explore our new website (jamlaboratory.com) when you have a moment, which breaks down how JAMLAB works, who we help, what we think and directly links to this BLOG. I welcome any feedback or comments you might have as well, so do not hesitate to join the conversation.
If you prefer Facebook, please go to our page directly
If twitter is more your style, visit @jamlab365 and follow us there. You'll soon be able to link directly to Facebook and Twitter straight from our website, so keep an eye out for that.
If that's not your cup of tea, just stay involved by following the JAMLAB blog. Simply submit your email address under the FOLLOW JAMLAB BY EMAIL tab.
Lastly and most importantly, let us know if you or someone you know is ready to start JAMLAB-ing and please stay tuned for new developments.
First off, I would like everybody to know that the next chapter in the career series, entitled "KNOWERS," will be out very soon. It explores the rare, enviable group of individuals that somehow discover their professional purpose early in life... and pursue with reckless abandon.
Secondly, please note that JAMLAB has a new web address (http://www.jamlaboratory.com) so I invite you to use this new domain to follow us now. (The old address still works as well).
You may also have heard that JAMLAB has inspired a new venture - Lime Design Collective (limedesignco.com). Please visit us when you have a free moment and review some of our design and furniture work. We're currently developing a scalable, prototype table and other custom pieces for 2 separate clients.
Lastly, Lime Design has decided to recycle some of the byproducts produced from our various projects into a collection of artwork. The first series has just been completed and will soon be available for purchase on our online store. Some pieces from the collection are featured below.
You may recall (or might be awaiting) “undeclared” as a temporary major in college. As a floundering 19 year-old kid, I claimed this title as long as possible. I wanted to declare a major with certainty and commitment, but since “they” didn’t demand a choice until junior year… I waited. Besides, drinking beer and making late night runs to 7-11 for stale nachos smothered in pump-action, artificial cheese was high priority... much more important than choosing the subject I would focus on during my undergraduate years and ultimately in a career.
In the movie Greenburg, Roger Greenberg (Ben Stiller) and his friend Ivan (Rhys Ifans) reminisce about their prior rock band days. Evidently, Greenburg’s abrasive personality and idealism killed a record deal for the band back in the day and the unresolved conflict remains palpable. Ivan reminds Greenburg of that depressing quote, “Youth is wasted on the young,” to which he replies, “I’d go further. I’d go… life is wasted on… people.” Harshly spoken, but a common attitude coming from a person so disengaged from his true purpose.
When Beth (Jennifer Jason Leigh) asks if he's still involved in music, the morose and quintessentially “undeclared” Greenberg, approaching 40, asserts “I'm really trying to do nothing, for awhile.” He's a cynical reminder of the universal struggle to find meaning in our work and the angst caused by doing something disingenuous. His bitterness eventually boils over, contaminating every interaction and personal relationship in his life, but hold on... I won't spoil the hopeful conclusion.
TOO MANY CHOICES…
In a recent animated video by theRSA.org (RSA Animate-Choice), Professor Renata Salecl explores the paralyzing anxiety surrounding limitless choice, which, in her opinion, emerges for several reasons. 1) We are compelled to choose what other people are choosing because of our need to be regarded by others. 2) We try to make an ideal choice, whether it’s a relationship or picking a phone carrier, often resulting in disappointment. 3) Choice always involves a loss; so when you choose one direction in life, you loose the possibility of another.
Salecl is clearly not suggesting that the option of individual choice be eliminated even if it would make selecting a toothpaste that much easier. She simply wants to illuminate the sociological complexity of making decisions in a modern capitalist society, especially in regards to our professional lives. Too often we hear people say that they don't like what they do or don't really know what they're "good" at. You're considered lucky if you discover something you don't hate. Some actually find decent jobs with benefits or a small pension, but the fear of starting over or loosing what they already have smothers any pursuit of alternate career possibilities, particularly those along the more unconventional path. Thus, many of us end up on the "Greenberg Spectrum," trapped, overwhelmed and underutilized.
In addition, our culture has pushed the idea of self-made success, celebrity worship, and the "American Dream" to the absolute extreme, so much that any lack of professional prosperity is typically attributed to personal failure or not trying hard enough. Feelings of self-doubt seep in telling us we don't have enough talent, enough education, enough resources, enough... whatever. Rather than inspiring social change or inciting an appropriate critique on society, the condemnation turns inward on ourselves.
WORK LONGER... GET MORE
With capitalism requiring continuous growth, there is a tendency for people to work more and constantly keep consuming. Remember that anti-drug commercial from the 90’s with the guy walking in circles repeating, “I do coke, so I can work longer, so I can earn more, so I can do more coke, so I can work longer…“ over and over? This situation, minus the coke, describes many individuals current employment scenario. Our work force is exhausted. A recent statistic stated the average vacation time taken by U.S. workers as 9 days per year. That’s just nuts.
FEAR & CONSUMPTION
During an interview in Michael Moore’s documentary Bowling for Columbine, Marilyn Manson commented on why people targeted him as a likely influence for the mass murders committed at Columbine high school in 1999. He, like Professor Salecl, highlights mainstream media's emphasis on acceptance of others and manipulation of fear as probable explanations. “You’re being pumped full of fear… If you have bad breath, they’re not going to talk to you. If you got pimples, the girl’s not going to fuck you… it’s a campaign of fear and consumption and that’s what I think that it’s all based on… Keep everyone afraid and they’ll consume.”
So… how does all this play out in our professional pursuits? Like Greenberg, many of us remain “undeclared” indefinitely, pacified with the status quo… totally stressed out... blaming ourselves because we haven’t worked hard enough or amassed the proper combination of possessions. Resistance to making creative career changes thus makes perfect sense, right? But... it just shouldn't be this way.
“Undeclared” is certainly understandable for a few years in college, but when it becomes a permanent state of mind, it's time for a JAMLAB reawakening. Yes, the cultural milieu might favor greed and self-aggrandizement while continuing to distract us with the pressure to “have” more, but… don’t fall for it! Acknowledge it, but don't settle for it. In fact, here's what I want you to do. Write “FEAR” and “SELF-DOUBT” on a piece of paper in big bold letters. Then... burn it, shred it, bury it, strangle it, drown it… just get rid of it. Like this:
Otherwise... "it" will consume you. Another decade will pass, and you’ll be 40, then 50, and suddenly, you’ll be chatting with Greenberg about how you’re still "trying to do nothing right now." Please don’t let that happen. The road less traveled can be a lonely place, especially if it keeps leading nowhere, so remember, it’s never too late to switch majors, as long as you “DECLARE” what it is you’re doing.
Unlike re-inventors, re-kindlers don’t want a career “do-over,” but instead seek to reinvigorate the passion they once had in their job that has somehow eluded them or faded altogether. Everybody relates to this category because after a certain amount of time, anything and everything becomes routine, especially the things that require so much of our time... relationships, jobs, parenting, drinking... uhhhhh... I guess life pretty much. Is this why we have the expression familiarity breeds contempt? Take the most exciting thing you can think of doing and multiply it by every day. I bet you can't find a rock star that doesn't whine about the hassle of being on the road or performing the same songs night after night. No matter how fun... it's still a job.
The "Love Bank" The important point here is to know this going in. Prepare for it... expect it... count on it... embrace it... transcend it. Just know that you're going to need that much love, passion, and excitement to carry on... across the valleys, over the mountains, into the desert, and through the shit. Life is just one big love bank and you have to keep making sizable deposits, all the time, or you'll end up in "passion bankruptcy."
Re-kindlers intuitively know this. They have a solid love foundation, but somewhere along the way the daily grind threw a couple of curves knocking them off balance. Hopefully, with some minor tweaking and a splash of imagination, they find their way home... back to the place that reminds them why they're doing it. Sometimes the door closes for a moment, but it doesn't always lock.
Cirque du Soleil The Spark
In The Spark, a book about the creative commitment of Cirque Du Soleil, Frank Castle realizes that he has been coasting on autopilot for quite some time in his job as a sports agent. During a convention seminar in Las Vegas, Frank finds himself going through the usual motions, when suddenly he notices two men, who look like they’re heading somewhere important, disappear behind a single discrete door. Frank inexplicably decides to follow them and 7 doors later finds himself in a fascinating performance space that seems to have been constructed long before Vegas existed… during a Cirque du Soleil rehearsal for the show KA. Minutes later, he meets Creative Content Division President Diane McKee, and his serendipitous journey begins.
Instead of being a narrative told from perspective of one of the artists, managers, designers or technicians within Cirque de Soleil, The Spark comes through the eyes of Frank, who after being re-awakened by the energy in Las Vegas, decides to arrange a month-long sabbatical with Cirque de Soleil to learn more about their creative culture. On a shear leap of faith, he travels to Montreal to undergo 3 weeks of condensed Cirque training in hopes of bringing that passion back to his own life and career.
Frank's experience connecting with a spectrum of designers and performers, as well as seeing one of his own clients become part of the organization, pushes him to take on some new risks within the sports agency back in Chicago. He declines an offer from his boss to represent a Heisman trophy winner, instead proposing an idea to create and head a New Talent Division. So… Frank figures out a way to get back to doing what he enjoys the most... traveling to high schools and colleges in the middle of nowhere to take a chance on young athletes no one has ever heard of. Sometimes... all it takes is some out-of-the-box thinking and a generous deposit into the love bank to get the career back on track.
"One Thing..."
In City Slickers, Mitch Robbins (Billy Crystal) gets together with two close friends every year for an adrenaline-rush vacation. One year it's the running of the bulls in Spain and the next it's driving cattle across New Mexico with an intimidating Cowboy named Curly (Jack Palance) that describes the secret to life as, "One thing... just one thing. You stick to that and everything else don't mean shit." The problem is, Mitch needs to find the "one thing" before he can resolve his epic mid-life crises and pressing professional woes.
Do It Better.
While talking to his wife, Mitch condenses what he actually does at his job selling advertising space at a radio station to "selling air." Somewhere along the path, just like sports agent Frank Castle, he fell into the daily grind abyss and stopped depositing into the love bank. Towards the end of the movie, after successfully guiding the herd to Colorado, Mitch arrives home with renewed purpose. "I'm not going to quit my job," he tells his wife. "I'm just going to do it better."
I don't know anyone who doesn't vent about their job from time to time... or their crappy boss or conniving co-workers... or "selling air." The difference with re-kindlers is that one way or another, whether it's an epiphany brought about by Cirque du Soleil or a life-altering adventure across the Southwest landscape, they re-ignite the flame and find a reason to stay the course.
The truth is we all need to change our frame of reference once in a while in order to see things in their best light. So... rattle the creativity cage slightly and appreciate what you have. A little gratitude goes a long way. Instead of seeing the tedious journey ahead, pause, look back, and remember how far you've already come. At least this way, you'll really know if you've hit the end of the road or if you just need a little more fuel in the tank.
On a quest to unravel the mystery of true happiness Matthieu Ricard left his life as a molecular biologist to become a Buddhist monk in the mountains of Tibet. In a 2004 TED presentation (Matthieu Ricard 2004 TED Talk) he illustrates the difference between fleeting pleasures and sustained well-being. “A beautiful chocolate cake… the first serving is delicious, second one… not so much… then we feel disgust. That’s’ the nature of things. We get tired.” When you feel cold, you approach the fire only to retreat moments later because of the heat of the flames.
He continues to explain how meditation is a vital technique involved in training the mind, ultimately leading to ones overall ability to control their state of consciousness. We spend endless hours conditioning our bodies through physical exercise, but when it comes to our minds, we invest very little.
As the quintessential re-inventor, Ricard emphasizes the difficulty in recognizing the difference between a new roadand adead end. A temporary setback should not force you to throw in the towel any more than a lucky roll tempts you to keep on playing. Pleasure and pain are simply opposite sides of the same mirage... blurring the foundation of sound judgment. Pleasure can be intoxicating, especially in a culture centered on immediate gratification. The rush of “newness” seduces even the most grounded individuals, often becoming addictive. The grass may indeed be greener on the other side, but it shrivels and dies when trampled on over and over. Be careful not to exit too early for the promise of something new, whether it’s a relationship, career or card game, only to realize later that maintenance and discipline will be required in any new venture as well.
True re-inventors then are not impulsive flip-floppers that change sides on a whim because they don’t like the current conditions. They zoom out to see the big picture, understanding that success is not dictated by a single game but is rather a long-term strategy. Some doors do indeed close, but the key to taking any new path, as Lewis Carroll reminds us in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, is knowing where you want to go…
One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. Which road do I take? she asked. Where do you want to go? was his response. I don't know, Alice answered. Then, said the cat, it doesn't matter.
So the main issue for re-inventors, especially during this brutal economic crisis, that has blatantly forced so many people out of their industries, is re-navigating their professional destinations… deciding where to go. Yes… the world has been shaken like a massive snow globe, but maybe there’s a blessing in drag here. Peel back the layers of shock, discomfort and inconvenience, and you might have a sexy pearl... like the “ugly girl” in any high school coming-of-age drama ---- brush hair, remove nerdy glasses, add lip-gloss and BAM... you’ve got an instant hottie.
It’s just about any episode of Jerry Springer. We’re all sad that Anastasia’s moving on from the wonderful, monster truck driver she can’t live without… who is also sleeping with her sister’s, boyfriend’s tranny-lover, but... at the same time… we cherish her opportunity to start fresh. This is basically the professional environment for a lot of people these days.
Sometimes… for a host of reasons… you just can’t go back.
NOTE: Please stay tuned as JAMLAB explores an array of additional professional positions, including but not limited to:
• UNDECLARED - Those perpetually uncommitted in their professional lives. • KNOWERS - Those that discover their true calling early in life. • DAY-JOBBERS - Those that work to support their true passion. • COMPLACENTS - Those ambivalent toward their work. • RE-KINDLERS - Those seeking to re-discover the passion they once had in their career.
“Wherever you are, it is your friends who make your world.” – William James
Almost certainly because a close friend of mine left Portland last Friday to return to Southern California, I feel genuinely compelled to talk about friendship this week. Although abrupt and distressing, his departure reminded me that true friendship is as essential in our lives as any other component. Connecting with another person that you respect and appreciate psychologically sooths the mind and soul. Friendship is a deliberate choice... a personal expression based on inclusion and acceptance… free from judgment or obligation. The words of poet and philosopher Kahlil Gibran capture this notion as eloquently as anyone;
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most
in him may be clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber
is clearer from the plain…
And let your best be for your friend
that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need,
but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship
let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things
the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
I'm trying, with all of my will, to see the positive in the situation, but it's difficult because the "mountain" is essentially his old house and the "plain" is the view from mine. That dark, empty house across the street is a permanent, structural representation of his absence.
This fresh and exposed wound has stirred up some thoughts about how we interact socially in a 21st century global society... urging me to contemplate the meaning of friendship more acutely.
The Erosion of Intimacy…
I suppose one of the reasons I resisted Facebook and all other preceding social networking sites for so long is that they basically place everyone into the same social stratum. This erosion of personal intimacy is embedded in the design. There is no Facebook “BFF” or “acquaintance” category. You’re either a “friend” or not. How is one supposed to prioritize their relationships? I know you can chat or direct message someone, but generally, and I’m just a newcomer, people broadcast information to their wall for instant consumption by everyone in their network. It’s very impersonal. Don’t get me wrong. I welcome the benefits these powerful social tools bring, but quality of intimacy is sometimes more important than quantity of friends.
During my son’s recent appendectomy, an impromptu discussion started in the surgery waiting room about using Facebook to notify friends in emergency situations. A woman, whose son had decided to impress her by jumping from the metal slide to the monkey bars, was expressing how frustrated her mom was because she learned of her grandson’s injury through a Facebook post. Her feelings were hurt because she didn’t get the news personally from her daughter… “I had to find out through Facebook,” she exclaimed. Suspending “generational” limitations for a moment, I think we can understand how this might be offensive to a close friend or family member.
Tiers of Friendship
If Facebook created different tiers of friendship, not only would it be more dynamic… like a social-reality-video-game, it would resolve this intimacy problem. Imagine how challenging it would be if you had 12 levels of friendship to negotiate, rather than one. I thought this idea should circulate as quickly as possible so I forwarded the following proposal to Mark Zuckerberg.
Proposed Tiers of Friendship for Facebook
That’s more like it. I mean, at least make it a little more challenging than:
It’s too easy. I’ll friend anybody whose name I recognize or gives me a random complement. It’s a fairly loose standard… right? No offense, but when someone won’t friend you on Facebook, you know you’ve got issues. Now… with Facebook FRIEND-TIERS, we have the excitement and complexity of climbing a multifaceted social ladder that will keep us energized and motivated indefinitely. I can’t stop thinking about how many “besties” I’m gonna get.
If you could post to only people in your “close friend” tier, you could let your mom and other important family members get the emergency surgery scoop first. Maybe you want to invite every "3rd - tier friend" or above to your dinner party. No need for stalkers or outsiders to have this information, right?
Wear your heart on your "wall."
OK, OK… enough sarcasm. Let's shift gears and get back to the real essence of this message... meaningful friendship. Instead of focusing on the limitations of social networking, let's exploit the quantitative power of the web to create a higher level of personal intimacy? How…? Tell everybody. Substantiate the authenticity of your feelings. Isn’t the risk of mass social scrutiny or embarrassment the highest level of sincerity we know? Privacy is practically obsolete anyway so “wear your heart on your wall” so to speak. It’s the digital equivalent of the “love confession” scene in so many movies… you know, where the desperate guy finally professes his true feelings in front of a contentious crowd of people often in a classroom or during a wedding service at the last possible minute. Remember Ben (Dustin Hoffman) in The Graduate?
The Graduate
So… where’s all this going? Why the big build-up? You might have guessed… I have a special someone to reach out to. No… not like that. I’m not cheating on my wife or sending pictures of my junk out for mass consumption. I simply want to let everyone know about how much I’m going to miss my great friend Chris. Instead of sending him a heartfelt letter, I’m going to let everyone in the digital domain know about my feelings. So… here it is.
I Love You, Man…
Let’s face it… our country, for reasons we won’t analyze now, is absurdly homophobic. The idea of intimacy between men just fu$#ing scares people. This is why we have bromantic comedies that satirize male bonding like I Love You, Man and the "hugshake," where men shake hands and do a one-arm hug simultaneously to create enough distance between bodies to avoid penis contact. Seriously, the undercurrent of social awkwardness regarding affection between guys is relentless in American culture. Well… I say… “NO MORE!”
I say show your friends and loved ones, regardless of gender, how much they mean to you as often as you can and as dramatically as possible. Don’t wait until there’s conflict or someone gets hurt or becomes ill. Ignore the homophobia, ignorance or social discomfort that says men can't show affection to one another. Even now... guys reading this are thinking, “That’s gay.” No. You know what? It’s awesome.
The movie Shawshank Redemption, adapted from a short story by Stephen King, was an extraordinary portrayal of friendship and loyalty that developed between Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) and Ellis "Red" Redding (Morgan Freeman) in a state penitentiary during the mid 1900’s. After 19 years of wrongful imprisonment, Andy finally escapes. His absence, deeply felt by "Red" is poignantly described in this scene:
"Andy Dufresne… who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side. Andy Dufresne… headed for the Pacific. Those of us who knew him best talk about him often. I swear the stuff he pulled. Sometimes it makes me sad, though, Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend."
Just replace “Andy” with “Chris” and you’ll understand what I’m going through. My world, similar to Red’s, is now that much more drab and empty now that he’s gone. I know that you already know, but for the official digital record, Chris, I love you, man. You will be greatly missed my friend.
Now please… go join Facebook… so I can "friend" you.
Your world becomes concretely divided into 2 distinct parts after having kids - B.C. (before children) and A.C. (after children). Some people say that about marriage, but compared to kids, marriage barely makes the “life change” list. Of course, having a “significant other” is significant, but you’re not changing diapers, preventing tantrums, or reminding your spouse to “use their words” every day (or at least the diaper part). I have seen my share of catastrophic adult meltdowns though, when primal brain functioning cuts off access to the pre-frontal cortex faster than you can say, “Another martini, please.” But… that's another chapter.
I’m now living in about 5 A.C. and often wonder where all my free time went in the B.C. years… casual weekends sleeping in - when the day felt complete if you made it to brunch and back. Aaaahhhhhhhh… those days… only a distant memory. And remember spontaneous sex… and movies and leisure and hobbies and friends and uninterrupted conversations? That was awesome.
Higher Stakes…
The A.C. period catapults parents from the shallow end of the community pool to the crest of an Asian tsunami almost overnight. It’s like T-ball to the Majors instantaneously… with no summer training camp and no time-outs (except when you’re giving them). The transition is abrupt and overwhelming… with no safety net, warranty or return policy. Once you’re responsible for the security, development, and self-esteem of another human being, the game totally changes – the stakes couldn’t be higher.
Most likely, I would have never directly elected to become the primary caregiver of my two young children, not because I personally object to this, but because the opportunity did not surface until the global economy tanked and the architecture industry fell off a cliff. I was suddenly thrust into a new occupation – full-time Dad – sink or swim.
Full-time parenting is a demanding skill that works both the brain and body. With increased exercise, comes higher endurance and better performance. I referenced Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000-hour rule from Outliers recently and I’m easily over half way there in parenting hours so far – approaching expert level, I suppose. Still... not a day goes by without struggle. This job can be lonely, monotonous, and often without praise or recognition. The hours are long and constant. The qualities required to be an exceptional parent are strenuous even for the most selfless individuals… nurturing, listening, providing, encouraging, supporting, attending, disciplining, challenging, engaging, fostering, helping......... LOVING.
It's exhausting... yet... at the same time, cathartic and sublime. This last Memorial Day, out of the clear blue, my daughter said, “Daddy, when I look at you, I feel like my heart is in you… my inside feels like a flower. You are my flower.” I still get choked up thinking about it. Without the time and effort, this poetic gift would not have been bestowed upon me. Fortunately, in being present day in and day out, I get to discover these mystifying and spontaneous pearls.
Chief Executive Parent (C.E.P.)
Through developing more experience, I realize that committed parenting is an unexpected yet substantial prerequisite for fulfillment in other life ventures. Re-reading M. Scott Peck'sThe Road Less Traveled this week reminded me of this truth. "Parents are executives, and despite the fact that they are ill-prepared for it, their task can be every bit as complex as directing a company or corporation." (Peck 32) I am the Chief Executive Parent (C.E.P.) running the domestic affairs business, not "taking time off" from my professional role in the "working" world. I'm establishing the most meaningful career experience possible and the training is invaluable.
Navigating the realm of human emotion from a child's point of view requires sustained attention, patience and imagination. One cannot rely on standard forms of adult reason or rational thought because children do not yet posses this cognitive ability. Try explaining the concept of time to a toddler. Parenting is a personal paradigm shift that dramatically rewires the brain to transition from the default setting of “self” to that of "other." Nobody captured this reality better than author David Foster Wallace in this adaptation of a commencement speech he presented to the graduating class at Kenyon college in 2005.
David Foster Wallace
"There happen to be whole large parts of adult American life that nobody talks about in commencement speeches. One such part involves boredom, routine, and petty frustration. The parents and older folks here will know all too well what I'm talking about. The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day."
It was not until the A.C. years that I came to understand the meaning of sacrifice he speaks of. This is parenting. There is no greater purpose... no higher calling than the psychological development and spiritual growth of another human being. My role as a parent will always be inextricably linked to all that I am and do... in the creative domain, in relationships, in the professional world... in LIFE.
To allow individuals of differing abilities to compete more fairly, the United States Golf Association introduced the handicap system in the early 20th century. Although a handicap is actually derived from a complicated formula, the important fact to know is that the lower the handicap, the more skilled the player. “Scratch golfers” (with a handicap of zero) are much better than “bogey golfers” (with handicaps around 20), but the system allows them to compete together because weaker players get to deduct strokes from their overall score based on their handicap.
What if we hypothetically applied the USGA handicap concept to alternative endeavors, like rock climbing or filmmaking or writing poetry? You, for example… having never made a feature film, might have a “double-bogey” handicap, say around 38 or 40. Martin Scorsese would be considered a “scratch filmmaker” with a zero handicap, scoring par or even below par consistently in the movie industry.
You are not Martin Scorsese... but you can play with him
Even though you probably won’t direct the next Avatar right away, you can still compete with higher-level players because of the handicap system. Maybe you focus on a smaller independent venture that gets some Internet traction or, at the very least, provides some solid hands-on experience. The point is, don’t worry about creating your masterpiece before you dip your first brush. Get out there, make something and remember… you have a handicap of 38 that mentally levels the playing field.
We could apply handicapping to personal attributes as well. Perhaps you are consistently late, or resent authority, or suck at spelling, or can’t type, or hate confrontation, or struggle with organization, or are bad with numbers, or don’t draw well, or lack attention to detail, or forget names, or are afraid of speaking in public, or have little discipline, or… etcetera, etcetera. So what are your options?
First… recognize your strengths and make everything else cater to your handicap(s). This doesn’t mean FOCUS on your weaknesses either. It means identify the areas you’re lacking in (trust me there are some) and simply compensate. For instance, I’m very slow at locating items in grocery stores and libraries. I have a “double bogey” attention span when it comes to these tasks. I get distracted and overwhelmed with excess information and choices.
So, what do I do? I use my “charming” personality to approach people and ask for guidance. Taking pity on my helplessness and seizing the opportunity to demonstrate a vast knowledge of the venue, someone usually chaperones me to the goods personally. I’m aware that I suck at finding stuff, thus, I compensate by using other, more salient traits.
Whether you’re organizing a closet, starting a business or changing careers, it is imperative to evaluate your potential, aptitude, and motivation accurately. Why? So you can establish a suitable handicap. Once you do that, you transcend the fear and anxiety about not being “good enough” and get on with what you need to do.
The Caveat...
Please do not misunderstand this concept. Not everyone can be exceptional at all things. We have innate limitations - such drastic handicaps that the playing field will always remain slanted. I will never be the next starting center for the Portland Blazers. It won’t happen, no matter how bad I want it. However, if I have an unyielding desire to be part of the sports world, yet lack the athletic talent to play, I could become an effective sports agent or a successful broadcaster. Bob Costas or Howard Cosell never won a Heisman trophy... did they?
Intuitively gravitating to our strengths comes more naturally to some people than others, but too often, because of an array of reasons that won’t be dissected at this time, we don’t know what we’re good at, or we have constructed impenetrable defenses around our faults. Remember Bruno Kirby (Lt. Hauk) in the movie Good Morning Vietnam? Robin Williams (Adrian Cronauer) played an energetic radio DJ that boosted the troops morale each morning with hilarious improvisational humor. When Lt. Hauk, Cronauer’s begrudging superior officer (with a “quadruple bogey” humor handicap) says... “In my heart… I know I’m funny,” you cannot help but cringe with empathy for his unrewarded comedic passion. Unfortunately, the only laughs he gets are with him as the punch line.
Everyone needs a Simon.
FIND YOUR SIMON
Cases like Lt. Hauk's are always the saddest scenarios because despite having low aptitude, his inner passion burns so brightly that the light blinds him from seeing clearly. Have you ever watched American Idol tryouts? It's the same story every season. You would think that some of these contestants would recognize their lack of singing ability. Maybe there is a place for them somewhere in the music industry, but belting out Bon Jovi’s Livin’ on a Prayer has disastrous consequences without the appropriate vocal range. Are they just tone deaf? I often wonder if these people have anyone in their lives to offer some constructive criticism before appearing on national TV. Is there nobody?
FU$K Devil's Advocates
This is why American Idol has Simon (or had Simon). Although controversial, he made an art out of providing seemingly harsh, but very constructive feedback. Most of the time… like him or not, he got it right and, as crushing as it might be, everyone needs to find their Simon.
Please don’t rely on an overly supportive person that thinks everything you do is amazing and won’t give you an unbiased opinion. Stop sheltering yourself from advice or observations that might make you better or re-direct you towards something more aligned with your capacities.
At the same time, please ignore the flame-pissers and devil’s advocates that will prevent you from following a strong, meaningful instinct. Don’t waste any more time. Relax… get out there… and go find your Simon.
